In relationships, as in life in general, many of our difficulties originates in our misguided hunt for Being. Being is the felt sense of existence. When we notice the felt sense of our own existence, we tend to say that we feel happy, alive, at ease, content, fulfilled, loved and loving. However, we do not understand that these experiences are merely the experience of Being. Instead, we assume it is the result of some particular doing.
In relationships, we tend to believe it is the result of having found the right partner or of our partner treating us in the right way. Therefore, if we lose awareness of Being, which we frequently do, and as a result, the feelings of happiness, aliveness, ease, contentment, fulfilment and love veins, we tend to draw the conclusion that there is something wrong with our relationship. We may then try in various ways to “squeeze” Being out of our partner – or find another partner that will provide us with what we have lost. However, because our partner never was the source of Being, this project is destined to fail eventually. Thus, our misguided hunt for Being can cause many conflicts in the relationship – and may eventually lead to the end of the relationship.
In this course, we will explore four ways in which issues in relationships can help us rediscover Being – and, as a fortunate byproduct, allow us to enjoy the gifts relationships can, in fact, bring. The course is not a course about how to make relationships work. It is simply a course about how to remove a particular class of serious relationship problems – that, in fact, have nothing to do with the relationship.