In relationships, as in life in general, many of our difficulties originates in our misguided hunt for Being. Being is the felt sense of existence. When we notice the felt sense of our own existence, we tend to say that we feel happy, alive, at ease, content, fulfilled, loved and loving. However, we generally do not understand that these experiences are the experience of Being. Instead, we assume they are the result of some particular conditions, and that we, therefore, can only have these experiences by fulfilling the corresponding conditions.
In relationships, we tend to believe experiences of happiness, aliveness, fulfilment, and love are the result of having found the right partner and/or of our partner treating us in the right way.
Therefore, if we lose awareness of Being, which we frequently do, and as a result, the feelings of happiness, aliveness, ease, contentment, fulfilment and love veins, we tend to draw the conclusion that there is something wrong with our relationship. We may then try in various ways to “squeeze” Being out of our partner – or start looking for another partner who will provide us with what we seek.
However, because our partner never was the source of Being, this project is destined to fail. Our misguided hunt for Being is likely to cause many needless conflicts in the relationship – and may eventually lead to the end of the relationship.
In this course, we will explore four ways in which looking closely at issues in relationships can help us rediscover Being – and, as a fortunate byproduct, allow us to enjoy the gifts relationships can, in fact, bring.
The course is not a course about how to make relationships work. It is simply a course about how to remove a particular class of relationship problems – by recognising that these problems, in fact, have nothing to do with the relationship.